Interview:

“EXPRESS THE DARK TO FEEL THE LIGHT”

Growing up in America it is hard to escape the mainstream values and messages we receive from the media and our social circles. It seems as if everyone unquestioningly buys into the middle-class values of materialism, personal ambition over family considerations, and individualistic competitive success. After all, the innovative pioneering spirit is what started this country and is possibly its greatest strength. With that one-sided attitude, comes a shadow side of little tolerance for weakness, imperfection, and vulnerability. People seem to just want to focus on the positive and look ahead to the possibilities of a better future. Thinking about and expressing uncomfortable feelings, traumas, dangerous emotions, and pain is not an accepted and normal part of our culture which prides itself in strength and achievement.

Families end up isolated, in their own worlds, chasing their own dreams, disconnected from others, and moreover, shoving any uncomfortable feelings into the deep recesses of their psyche, having unconsciously inherited the message that, “those feelings mean there is something wrong with you”. The isolation leads to trauma, and the unprocessed trauma leads to acting out in destructive ways and thus more trauma. The cycle continues and you feel lonely anywhere you go, especially if you are tuned into the darker side of life. If you are lucky you may find your way into a therapist’s office. Ideally, we wouldn’t need a therapist because greater society and our personal social circles would have integrated a space that made it ok to be hurt, to be weak, and to be traumatized. There would be no shame around these feelings, and instead it would be normal to have the difficult conversations with our loved ones and friends to give and receive the empathy and understanding we need to heal. Since this isn’t the case, and since most of us don’t find ourselves in front of a therapist, our lives feel pretty empty most of the time.

This was the case for me until I found heavy music. Until then, music seemed cool and interesting but not until heavy music came blasting in my ears did I feel the pain, the hurt, the anger, the sadness, the sexuality, the passion, the reckless rebellion, the power, the violence, and all the things people didn’t want to talk about. It seemed like the musicians were channeling that energy into the music and expressing the taboos of society. When that music played, I felt connected, I felt understood and I felt it was ok to be me. I didn’t feel judged. I didn’t feel rejected. I didn’t feel alone. Music was my therapy. It was my best friend. It was my family. It was my lifeline. I feel music is the most powerful when it gives space to expressing the difficult dark emotions that society rejects. We all have these feelings, some more than others. If others can’t talk about it, at least we have a forum to feel the emotions going on inside. For many of us our sanity depends on connecting with raw, honest music that is unafraid of expressing what others may consider dangerous emotion.

“I feel music is the most powerful when it gives space to expressing the difficult dark emotions that society rejects.”
– Peijman Kouretchian, Drummer