Sometimes life just hurts. The shadow side of human nature seems to block our light, our love. Negative thoughts and emotions—energies—can tear us apart and leave us feeling all alone. That’s when the healing process of forgiveness starts requiring a creative focus in order to change or transform the darkness that blocks us.

The most powerful tools I know of to “dare the dark” and once again stand in the balanced light of life are music, dance, and art. Each has its place in the steps to letting go of that which is dragging us down, and in being able to forgive ourselves and all who are involved.

One daring-the-dark-process that many of us will go through in our life’s journey, d-i-v-o-r-c-e or the ending of a committed intimate relationship, is often scarred by betrayal, mistreatment, scandal, distrust, and disrespect. It’s quite a load to take on for anyone. I don’t know how well I would have survived my own divorce journey if I hadn’t used the releasing and rejuvenating or healing powers that are inherent in the arts, which I needed in recreating my life energies and choices.

Music helps us to feel quickly and deeply the depth of our emotions. One of the first healing tools I created was a CD of music that enabled me to feel the anger, disillusionment, frustration, sadness, and grief that were clogging my brain and heart. I would sing all the lyrics at the top of my lungs and dance my tutu off in the sweatiest of releases. Over and over again, I explored “the layers of the onion” through music and movement.

Creating art, and sometimes the burning or smashing of it, helped me to release the negative images that haunted my sleep. Then I was able to begin dreaming what I wanted to bring into my life after I released that which was no longer serving me in healthy ways. Painting, sculpting, and writing proved invaluable for me, plus saving me a lot of money from not needing to buy someone else’s counseling skills. My art was a therapeutic process I had available to me at home anytime.

As I was able to let go of that which had caused or was causing me pain, the music that I listened to changed from the angry side of rock and roll and the depressed side of the blues and country. I took up African drumming, which helped me in learning to let go and move on in new circles.

My journal writing and painting saved me from my own crazy thoughts and then, through the art of writing poetry, helped me to open up to new perspectives of what I had been through, another huge step in the forgiveness process. To this day, when I get hung up on anything, I dance. I dare my darkness and I dance with it, co-creating new moves, new energies, and opening back up to the light. Yes, forgiveness is all about daring the dark and dancing with it!