Grade Five Crisis

MIKE PATTON PARODIES
ARTIST: Faith No More
ALBUM: Angel Dust
LABEL: Warner Bros. Records
RELEASED: June 16, 1992
DURATION: 61:24 – 14 Tracks
SONG: Midlife Crisis
LYRICS: Cosmic Jester
COMMENTS: “This parody became the same way a lot of my parodies have. When I started singing one line and thought it was clever enough to write a parody around.”
PARODY: Grade Five Crisis
Go on and wring my neck
Like when a rag gets wet
A little discipline
For my pet genius
My head is like lettuce
Go on dig your thumbs in
I cannot stop giving
I’m thirty-something

Sense of security
Like pockets jingling
Midlife crisis
Suck ingenuity
Down through the family tree

You’re perfect yes, it’s true
But without me you’re only you (you’re only)
Your menstruating heart
It ain’t bleedin’ enough for two

It’s a midlife crisis
It’s a midlife crisis

What an inheritance
The salt and the kleenex
Morbid self attention
Bending my pinky back
A little discipline
A donor by habit
A little discipline
Rent an opinion
Sense of security
Holding blunt instrument
Midlife crisis
I’m a perfectionist
And perfect is a skinned knee

You’re perfect yes it’s true
But without me you’re only you (you’re only)
Your menstruating heart
It ain’t bleedin’ enough for two

Yeeeeeeeeeeeah

It’s a midlife crisis

You’re perfect yes it’s true
But without me you’re only you (you’re only)
Your menstruating heart
It ain’t bleedin’ enough for two

 Go on mix green and red
It made sense in my head
I could learn quite a bit
I’m no art genius
My hand is my paint brush
I’ll stick my green thumbs in
I cannot stop this thing
I’m fingerpaintin’

Lacks creativity
Oil-based paints next to me
Grade five crisis
I hate my color scheme
This paint’s intoxicant-free

You’re purple, yes, it’s true
But without red, you’re only blue (you’re only)
I miss my color chart
That I used back in grade two.

It’s a grade five crisis
It’s a grade five crisis

What an embarassment
DiVinci I’m jealous
I ruined my new pants
Painting my pinky black
A little blue and green
I want aquamarine
A little bit more green
I think it’s ruined.
Not what I used to be
Holding my paint brushes
Grade five crisis
I’m a perfectionist
As perfect as a pink tree

You’re purple, yes, it’s true
But without red, you’re only blue (you’re only)
I miss my color chart
That I used back in grade two.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeah

It’s a grade five crisis

You’re purple, yes, it’s true
But without red, you’re only blue (you’re only)
I miss my color chart
That I used back in grade two.
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